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How to maintain relationships when you have shared custody

On Behalf of | Jun 26, 2023 | Child Custody |

Shared custody is not about splitting your time with your kids; it is about maximizing the quality of that time. The key lies in transforming the challenges into opportunities for strengthening your relationship.

The journey may not be easy, but remember, it’s not the circumstances that define your bond with your children. It’s your actions, your consistency and the love you share that keeps the connection strong.

Make the most of your time together

Shared custody inherently means spending less time with your children. Yet, it is crucial to understand that is not the quantity of time that matters, but the quality. When you are with your kids, be fully present. Put away your phone, limit distractions and focus on them. Create cherished memories by engaging in activities they love.

Talk to them. Not just about their day, but also about their dreams, their fears and their ambitions. Active listening plays an important role in building trust and understanding. It’s an acknowledgment that you value their opinions and emotions.

Maintain consistency and establish routines

Children thrive on consistency. Despite the changes that shared custody brings, try to keep certain elements constant. It could be a tradition you create, like cooking breakfast together every Sunday or maintaining a consistent bedtime routine.

Another aspect of consistency involves discipline. Make sure you and your co-parent have a united front when it comes to rules and boundaries. This not only maintains order but also helps children adjust to their new living arrangements.

Keep communication lines open

Remember, communication is a two-way street. While it’s important for you to talk to your kids, it is equally crucial that they feel comfortable talking to you. Encourage them to express their feelings about the shared custody arrangement, and validate their emotions. Let them know it is okay to miss you when they are away, and it is okay to have fun when they are not with you.

Shared custody can be challenging, but it does not need to weaken your bond with your children. With the right approach, you can continue to nurture a loving, strong relationship with your kids. It’s about being there for them, in the moments that count, showing your love and commitment every step of the way.