When you adopt children, you bring them into your home as one of yours, with unconditional love. However, unlike biological children, you do have to prepare for curiosity about their biological family. According to Psychology Today, their adoption story is a part of their sense of self.
The first step to adoption discussion is to make sure your children know the word adoption. Expose them to the word before they understand it.
How can you introduce the idea of adoption?
You can introduce the idea of adoption without making a big deal about it. Toddlers do not have to remember the day that they learned about adoption. Instead, consider creating a storybook explaining the adoption story and how they came to be a part of your family.
How can you handle the difficult questions?
Adoption discussions may be difficult as children grow older. Children age five to nine may ask questions you never thought about. They may ask you why their biological mother did not keep them. If your children ask at a bad time, make sure to let them know that you will address it later. You may not want to answer at the checkout line, but do not use bad timing to excuse not answering.
You can talk about the birth mother’s decision with your children. If you have contact with the birth mother, you can ask her what she feels comfortable sharing. You should have in-sync messages. If children ask what happens if their biological parents want them back, be careful to explain how they chose you as forever parents and that they belong in your family.